Building a mental health toolkit for the holidays

The holidays often become a time of forced-joy, unpredictable schedules and extroverting (to the max). In other words, we do. And in all of our festive-doing, we lose our sense of routine and coping skills. As a woman with anxiety & PTSD,who's worked hard to find the activities and skills I need to live a calmer and less medicated life, it's an almost indescribable feeling of helplessness. One that I wish to never experience again. So what can we do to mentally prepare ourselves for the tidings of comfort and joy?

I challenge you to set realistic expectations for yourself. The momentum of gifts, parties, services, and school programs create a surge of momentum. The momentum of activities and things start to push our emotions into overdrive. It creates a chain reaction that forces us to feel we must take action and do. In great contrast, research shows it is better to un-do.

The feeling of not-doing helps us live in the moment and potentially sit with the discomfort our mental health can create. Ultimately, we learn to find the root of the discomfort and practice facing it head-on. Brene Brown, a popular author and motivational speaker writes, "there's a growing body of research that indicates we don't process other emotional information accurately when we feel overwhelmed, and this can result in poor decision making."

I really wanted to dive into this information on a more personalized level. So, I started to think about the feeling of overwhelm in my own body and how I can use my coping skills to address it. My self-reflection led me to realize, overwhelm feels like a warm rush coming into my upper body, similar to a hot flash. Small beads of sweat form on the back of my neck and my breathing becomes more shallow and frequent. My hands start to tremor and I find myself staring off into space, trying to find someone or something to help. Eventually, I start to operate on autopilot. Thinking back, there have been days where I've camped out in a state of overwhelm, driving, working, cooking and interacting with others. Once I got into my bed, I realized I didn't remember how I made it home. That's really scary and further proves my emotional information was causing poor decision making.

The wonderful news is, you can stop the overwhelm. You can say no to things that make you feel out of control. You can set boundaries with times and people. Lastly, you can change your thinking assessment of how well you can handle the party/the people/the family gathering. You can stand on the knowledge of the following A. You're not trapped! Repeat after me: I'm an adult and can leave a conversation or location at any time B. You can ask for more information! Call up the host and ask them the details or shoot them a quick text message. The more you know, the less unknowns there are to worry about. C. Stop apologizing or believing you're rude! Relish in the luxury of being able to do what's best for you. Don't let guilt get in the way!

In closing, I'm wishing you all the merriest, happiest holidays with zero anxiety and an unlimited stack of books.

Keep building bridges and breaking barriers,

Sheridan